The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread (TGTSSB)

I already knew that Greg was fantastic, but recent events merely confirm that he is The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread (TGTSSB):

- Given my major deadlines and stressful work life going on at the moment, I declared no more cooking or other hobby-ing for two weeks until all of my deadlines have cleared
- He replied that he would take care of it
- I said thanks, we'll have fun eating out more
- He said, no, he'll cook. And shop. And take care of the dogs. And do all of the cleaning. And basically just let me sit in the office for two weeks and work without having a single responsibility, stopping in every once and a while to give me a hug and ask me how it's going

Not only did he say he would do this...but he actually has done all of the things listed above. Everything. Cleaning, shopping, everything. He's not just cooking, but he's cooking* the way I like to cook so that I can get the food that I enjoy (and boy am I a foodie): healthy, nutritious, mind motivating food. I am currently enjoying a fantastic packed lunch.

Gosh I love TGTSSB. Thanks to Greg for being awesomely supportive.

*also occasionally bringing me fresh glasses of water with sliced lemon. He's a keeper.

I am a mean, lean...err, blogging? machine!

Okay, so I've had a little trouble lately. Well, a lot of trouble. Between the wedding, some general meloncholy, PMS, other sorts of "women troubles", and I don't know what else...I have been completely and utterly unable to concentrate.

Normally this would not be such a terrible thing. I blessed with a fairly flexible, albeit extremely low paying, job that I can make my own hours in and get work done when I want to. That's all great. Except for now. When I have a huge deadline. A major, major, gigantic deadline. Something unavoidable. Something that I am entirely and singularly responsible for.

So I started early. Real early. I was quite proud of myself. I got a good running jump into the project, hit brick wall, sat back for a minute and decided that, hmm, what I really need is some perspective. I'll take a few weeks (2) to do some other things, return to this, and bang the whole thing out in no time at all.

Yeah right.

2 weeks turned into 3 weeks. I returned to the project, expecting it all to fly by so quickly... and realized that I am just as burned out now as I was 3 weeks ago, only now I have 3 less weeks with which I can make this all come together.

I have been struggling to say the least. And I have been in a terribly mood as a result. And I have also been succeptible to all sorts of distractions.

Until now: this lovely saturday morning, where I am sitting holed up in my office with ~100 journal articles categorized in neat little piles on the table in front of me and a 20 page report that needs about 10 more pages and all-of-the-figures-completely-reworked like a blinking little reminder on my laptop.

I am doing fantastic. I am a mean, lean, writing machine.......

Errr.

I am a mean, lean, keeping on task machine......

Uhm.

Okay.

I admit it.

I'm a mean, lean, blogging machine!

(Somebody save me!!!)

Sam The Fish: RIP

Just recently I mentioned that one of the things that I love about Greg is how he insists on keeping the one tiny fish alive that we have sitting in a huge 50 gallon tank (all of the other fish got The Ick and died several months ago). This tiny little thing, no more than a few cm's in length, had a tremendously traumatic day... which ended by his eventual demise in a much smaller (but better decorated) home.

Here's how the day proceeded.

8:00am Humans feed fish. Best Part of Day.
8:50am Humans gone for the day. Swimming, swimming, swimming . . .
1:00pm (Approximately) Strange splitting noise... that's odd. Swimming, swimming, swiming . . .
1:10pm Sound of dropping water. Where's that coming from?
2:00pm Volume of house appears to be decreasing slowly.
3:00pm Rapidly losing water!!
4:00pm Water everywhere! Dogs confused! Nowhere left to swim!
4:30pm Somebody come home! Situation getting dire! Fish can't swim around anymore!
5:30pm Humans return. Mop up water. Can't find fish. Tank is ruined, almost no water left.
5:45pm Humans locate fish! Save little critter (now named Sam) in small glass jar.
6:20pm Human female delights in locating larger glass house for fish: decorates with pretty clean pebbles and lush green plants. Smaller house, but nicer! Better real estate too.
6:30pm Human conditions water, tests for pH and ammonia. Looks good! Pours little Sam into his new home
6:40pm Sam free to swim around in new home
7:00pm Following apparent suicide attempt, new home is covered with heavy book.
9:00pm Humans return to check on Sam, find him Belly Up at the bottom of his new clean house.

What a sad day for that little fish!!

Mind Mush Madness

Dear someone please save me from this mind-mush-madness.

My mind is total mush. Completely and utter mud. I can't think, analyze, or write. I am quite able to waste hours upon hours of time surfing the net, looking at Italian villas, or cooking way too fancy meals that are quickly consumed and require cleaning up after . . . but I seem to be incapable of work. Any kind of work. Even knowing that I have a very serious deadline rapidly approaching - knowing that I am reaching the point of no return, when there's literally not enough time to prepare the things to have them finished in time for the deadline - even then, I can't seem to focus.

Is this a function of the wedding planning? The bad weather? My almost always varying mood? Maybe I'm just burned out or something... I did work really hard in the weeks leading up to my currently general malaise. Or is just PMS?! (something I think all women recognize, but hate to admit)

Whateva' it is, I don't like it!

(P.S. I think my MMM title is fantastic. I've always appreciated strings of words that all start with the same letter)

Mangled Apple Pie

OH MY GOD. She's smashing up a store bought apple pie and layering it with carved out baked phillo dough shells and cool whip / cream cheese / powdered sugar cream filling.

UGH.

Have I ever mentioned that I dislike the cooking show, Semi Homemade by Sandra Lee?

I am really into cooking. Cooking relaxes me and eating fulfills me. It's a great little cycle that keeps me happy and busy, something I am, I dare say, quite good at. It is an artistic endeavor at its best, with roots to be respected and admired. The little content noises that Greg makes as he enjoys my hobby make it even better. I hardly watch any TV, but when I do watch it, it is always Food TV (I don't think I can emphasize how much always that always is). I learned to cook from my favorites on Food TV: Michael, Giada, Rachael, and Ina. If you watch Food TV, you know instantly who I am talking. I appreciate Michael and Giada for their Simple Italian. I like that Rachael makes 30 minutes meals (good, healthy 30 minute meals) accessible to housewives around the country, and I really appreciate the incredible care and attention that goes into Ina's french cuisine.

But here's the catch. I cannot stand Sandra Lee. She does none of the following:

1. shorten the cooking time
2. be sensitive to essential components of ethnic cuisine
   
3. reduce the number or cost of ingredients
4. decrease calorie content, fat content, carb content, or meat content
5. make things easier or less complicated
6. make things wholesome or healthy
7. make things that taste good

The worst part of it is that they (the producers?) dress her up in cleavage revealing tops and theatrical props (hats, bracelets, Other Weird Stuff, etc) that always coordinate with the color of that show's theme (or, horror, maybe she does it herself?!), be it orange for "Mexicano!" or pink for "Girls Night In!". It reminds me of "Better Homes and Gardens" housewife material from the 50s. She'll spend 30 minutes describing how to make something that actually takes several hours to prepare - and what it is a almost-pure-sugar cake to give to a group of 5 year olds that pairs well with the Pigs in a Blanket, doctored Mac N Cheese, homemade-ish Mashed Potatoes, and All Other Things Of A Homogeneous Color.

But I'll be damned if the cake isn't covered red sprinkles and lit sparklers, sitting on a magical "Tablescape" that matches the color of the birthday candles - which oh so coincidentally coordinates with the "Mixed Fruit Punch" cocktail drink and her very own red v-neck cashmere sweater (matching scrunchie)

I once saw a whole show of hers on semi-homemade deserts, and literally all 5 recipes involved at least one package of instant pudding. Together, we discovered the wonders of banana instant pudding, raspberry instant pudding, and strawberry instant pudding, all used in interesting and creative ways to produce something that tastes exactly the same: terrible artificial confection